| Course | PA 602 PA Prof Prac Seminar IV |
|---|---|
| Week | 6 |
| Paper type | Apology wording review |
| Length | About 630 words, 5 pages |
| Format | APA 7 student paper |
| School | Chamberlain University |
| Program | Master of Physician Assistant Studies (MPAS) |
| Updated | October 2026 |
Free sample paper for PA 602 Week 6
Apology Wording Review of the Clinic's Draft Letter to N.B.: Seven Lines Rewritten in a Three-Column Table, the Missing Subjects Found, the Pronoun Drift Fixed and Two Good Lines Left Alone
Student Name
Chamberlain University
PA 602: PA Prof Prac Seminar IV
Instructor Name
Month Day, Year
Apology Wording Review of the Clinic's Draft Letter to N.B.: Seven Lines Rewritten in a Three-Column Table, the Missing Subjects Found, the Pronoun Drift Fixed and Two Good Lines Left Alone
The Task
The clinic manager drafted a letter to N.B. after the disclosure conversation and asked me to review the wording before it is sent. My changes are below, with the original line, its replacement and what the change does for N.B. reading it.
Original, Replacement, Reason
Table 1
Changes to the Draft Letter
| Original line | Replacement | What the change does |
|---|---|---|
| "We regret any inconvenience you may have experienced." | "We are sorry that we did not tell you about the radiologist's report in March." | Names the event and takes ownership; "inconvenience" understated five weeks of an untreated fracture |
| "Mistakes were made in the communication of results." | "We did not get the report to you, and that was our failure." | Supplies the missing subject; the passive voice hid who made the mistake |
| "The report was routed per standard workflow." | "The report went only to one clinician, who was away until Thursday." | Replaces process language with what actually happened |
| "Your provider attempted to contact you." | "A voicemail was left on Thursday asking you to call; nobody tried again." | Admits the follow-up was inadequate instead of implying N.B. failed to respond |
| "We have identified a process improvement opportunity." | "We have changed the system: reports like yours now also go to a shared inbox our lead nurse checks every morning." | Replaces a euphemism with the specific change |
| "Should you have further concerns, please do not hesitate to reach out." | "If you have questions, the number below reaches me without going through the front desk." | Gives a named person and route rather than a formula |
| "We value you as a patient." | Removed | Generic and, in this context, likely to read as hollow |
Note. Note. Original lines quoted from the clinic manager's draft with permission.
Find the Missing Subject
Two of the original lines had no one doing anything: "mistakes were made" and "the report was routed." Patients want to know what happened and who was responsible, and an apology that hides the actor reads as evasive (Gallagher et al., 2003). Each replacement has "we" as its subject.
Watch the Pronoun Drift
The draft started with "we," moved to "the clinic" and "your provider," and then back to "we." This drift makes the apology seem to come from an institution in one paragraph and a person in the next. The revised letter uses "we" for the clinic throughout and names Dr. Ames once, as the person N.B. can call.
Name the Euphemism
"Process improvement opportunity" and "inconvenience" were the two euphemisms. Both softened the event in ways N.B. would notice. The replacement lines state what was wrong and what changed.
Leave the Good Lines Alone
Two lines were kept unchanged: "We know this delay may affect how your wrist heals, and we will help you through what comes next," and "Dr. Ames will call you after your visit with the hand surgeon." They were specific, honest and forward-looking.
What Was Not Changed for Legal Reasons
I did not add or remove any statement about cost or liability. The clinic manager has asked the clinic's risk manager to review those parts separately, and this review covers only wording.
The revised letter runs roughly as long as the draft did. The aim was not a longer apology but a clearer one, with every sentence doing work N.B. would recognize.
References
Gallagher, T. H., Waterman, A. D., Ebers, A. G., Fraser, V. J., & Levinson, W. (2003). Patients' and physicians' attitudes regarding the disclosure of medical errors. JAMA, 289(8), 1001-1007. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.289.8.1001
Reading the PA 602 Week 6 instructions
The sixth week asks for a review of the wording of a supplied apology or disclosure letter. Most versions want three columns: the original line exactly as written, the replacement written out in full and one sentence on what the change does for the person reading it. Look for sentences without a subject, where nobody seems to have done anything. Watch for pronoun drift, where the apology shifts between "we," "the clinic" and a role title. Name euphemisms such as "inconvenience" or "process opportunity" and replace them with plain statements. Lines that already work should be left alone, and saying so is part of the task. Do not change the facts in the draft. A source on what patients want from an apology can support your changes.
Inside the PA 602 Week 6 example
A short opening explains that the clinic manager asked for a wording review before sending. The table holds seven rows, each with the original, the replacement and its effect, including "We regret any inconvenience," "Mistakes were made in the communication of results," "routed per standard workflow," "Your provider attempted to contact you," "a process improvement opportunity," a closing formula and "We value you as a patient," which is removed. A section on missing subjects cites Gallagher et al. (2003). The pronoun section explains settling on "we" throughout and naming Dr. Ames once. The euphemism section names two softening terms. A section keeps two lines unchanged because they are specific and forward-looking. The last section leaves cost and liability statements to the risk manager and limits the review to wording.
PA 602 Week 6 rubric: what full points look like
The most damaging version of this review rewrites the letter wholesale, with no original lines shown, so the reader cannot see what changed. Next come changes described rather than written out, such as "make this more personal." Faculty then deduct for missing the passive constructions that hide responsibility, which are the main target. Credit goes to a three-column layout with the original quoted exactly and a one-sentence reason for each change. Catching pronoun drift and naming euphemisms earn separate shares. Leaving good lines untouched, and saying why, is graded as judgment. Changing facts in the draft is penalized. A cited source on apology or disclosure, in APA form, supports the reasons and completes the rubric.
Common PA 602 Week 6 mistakes, and how to avoid them
Reviews tend to go wrong by replacing the entire letter with the writer's own version, which hides the editing. Another problem is softening the apology further in the name of tone. A third is changing what the letter says happened. If your section supplies a different draft, such as a letter after a wrong-site procedure or a delayed referral, send it exactly as given; the review built for you would quote each line that needs work, write a full replacement and explain its effect, flag missing subjects, pronoun drift and euphemisms and leave strong lines alone. If your instructor asks for a clean final version as well, it would follow the table.
Get a PA-602 Week 6 example written to your instructions
Send the assignment, the rubric and the draft your section supplied, and an example review comes back marked against that exact paragraph rather than a substitute one. It takes 24-48h and the first costs nothing. Write PA-602 and the week at the top of the message so it reaches a writer on this seminar.
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PA 602 Week 6 questions, answered
What if the supplied draft is genuinely good?
Then the review argues that, line by line, rather than in a paragraph of approval. Say what each sentence achieves and for whom, then find the one place a reader could still take it the wrong way. A review concluding that a draft works, with the evidence attached to particular lines, marks above one that invents faults to look thorough.
Am I allowed to change the facts in the draft?
No, and doing it is a quick way to lose the week. The review works on wording, so the events, dates and people in the supplied paragraph stay exactly where they are. Where a fact looks wrong or missing, flag it in the reason column as something the writer would need to confirm, and leave the line itself untouched.
Does the review need sources?
Usually light ones, and check what your section asks for. Where citations are wanted they tend to sit in the closing section rather than against individual lines, supporting a claim about how people read an account of harm. A pass carrying a citation on every row reads as padding and pushes out the reasons, which is where the points are.
Where can I find a free PA 602 Week 6 sample paper?
The full PA 602 Week 6 apology wording review, with seven lines of a clinic letter rewritten in a three-column table, is on this page.
What replaces "Mistakes were made" in the PA 602 Week 6 sample?
The line becomes "We did not get the report to you, and that was our failure," which gives the sentence a subject and owns the error.